Trying to make sense of attraction
 
When I went to bed, my head was swirling – I don't know why it was that it seemed okay for me to do what I did with George, and was now doing with Dr Montgomery, and I wasn't going to think about who else at that Shangri La Party, but wrong for my Mum to be doing it with Monty! I suppose you never think about your parents doing sex, with each other or anyone else. It was a bit of a shock to me. And seeing her so obviously unhappy about it made me think. Not that there was anything wrong with me, but there might be something not right about Dr Montgomery. I mean, it was perfectly obvious why he'd want to have sex with Me, I was young and pretty and already having it with his friend George, and though I didn't know much about Men, I wasn't stupid. If your best friend has something, you get jealous and either want what they've got, or something exactly the same. Obviously that was what was going on here.
     So even though Monty already had Pavel, George had already told me that he liked both Boys and Girls, and here was George who I thought had only liked girls – or Me, for that matter, because I didn't know that there had been others before me – agreeing to taking Pavel as a playmate to protect him from what we thought was Montgomery's roughness. What did that mean? But what did the Doctor see in my Mum? She wasn't exactly young and pretty, for fuck sake! She was my MUM and all the mums I knew, well, possibly with the exception of Pavel's, Sister Novicki, were old and lumpy. I know now that this is just a perception of youth, and that there are a couple of mums in any community, or school, who aren't that old and lumpy, and might be considerer a bit pretty.
     But that definitely didn't apply to My Mum. So what was it? To get back at Me? Or if it had been going on for a while – as Dr Montgomery had implied, when he was talking to me the other week – was it about getting back at my Dad, for some reason?
     But what reason could there possibly be> The more I racked my brains, the more I tied myself up in knots.
     Maybe I should just ask him.
     So I did.
     I shouldn't.
     Because he said that if I ever asked him anything like that again, he wouldn't be nice to me or my Mum and he wouldn't ask Jimmy Savile to meet me and maybe get me on Jim'll Fix It!
 
     That shut me up. And it made me concentrate on what I was doing. I was kneeling between his legs with my face in his lap and his cock in my mouth, using my tongue the way George really liked and it seemed to be having the same effect on Graham. He'd told me to call him that when we were together, because we had a special relationship. And I knew that was because he had delivered me. He said I was his first baby. And then it struck me, did he mean more than just delivering me. Was he saying that he was my Dad, my real Dad? I didn't know if he had known my Mum before he came to the Practice, as a new partner for 'Old' Dr Cunningham. Was that possible? It would explain a lot of things. Especially his liking for my Mum.
     But how could I find out? I certainly couldn't ask him, not if I wanted to keep him sweet until after I'd met Jimmy and he'd Fixed It for Jo. I could hardly ask my Mum – or my Dad. But I could nose around their stuff at home, and I could ask some discreet questions – I wanted to become a Private Detective when I grew up, so this could be my first challenge: find out if my Mum and Doctor Graham could have known each other about a year before I was born.
     Yes! I can do that!
     But in the meantime, in the present, her in The Surgery, on my knees, I concentrated on giving the best possible sucking possible, because I wanted Graham to like me even more than he did already. I wanted him to take me to his house. As soon as possible!