Dear Diary
 
My Diary – it was one of those pink fake-leather bondings, with a little padlock and key that could probably be opened by a baby with a pin, only we didn't have a baby and I wouldn't have trusted any baby I knew to use a pin without causing blood to pour from various parts of it;s body. It was a Five-Year Diary, and this was the second year, but the first time I was actually using it for appointments, rather than just family birthdays and the like. And the appointments were coming thick and fast.
 
     Evenings with George and weekends with George, were the most important, because he actually Loved me abd I Loved him. I sometimes had to remind myself of this – my relationship with George was Number One in my list of Priorities: it was George who gave me my identity and my whole reason for being. So that must be respected at all times!
     Second were afternoons (usually) sometimes morning or even evenings, depending on School Holidays and Graham's Surgeries at the Health Centre. He usually did 9-5 but if he had been 'On-Call' overnight, particularly if that had been covering for one of his Partners, especially if they couldn't get a locum, his surgery the next day was taken by someone else. Usually all that was known in advance, so it was only the changes to his Diary that meant a change to mine – and the times he just felt he needed a 'Special'. These would usually be after a particular;y trying On-Call, when he could only relax if he had a good sucking, which might even lead to giving me fucking. These were un-planned. An urgent call to the house, after our parents had left for work, but while Stacy and I were still there. Or even a message to the School that my Great-Aunt or another relative was gravely ill, would fetch me running – and usually I would just miss School for the whole day/
 
     Graham was becoming more demanding and going beyond the strict letter of his arrangement with George, but I didn't know how to broach this with George.
     And then I had Pavel to see – and our friendship had deepened, now that Pavel was also seeing George twice a week. We felt more like brother and sister, and thought brought up it's own complications, for Pavel was clearly falling in love with me. Although I was not really interested in him in quite the same way as he was becoming with me, our close proximity under the blanket on the sofa watching videos or tv began to extend to me giving him hand-jobs, then blow-jobs and eventually to us fucking. He was a very gentle boy and this was nothing like the sex I had with George or Graham. It was always so gentle that neither of us really broke sweat, although it usually involved me being on top of him riding him like a cowgirl. I won't say I didn't enjoy it too, though not as much as him. It seemed to deepen his feelings for me, but I felt that he was still so fragile that 
 
if I hadn't done it that might have distressed him. He now expected it and I did what I needed to to keep him happy.
     Then there was Christy. This was, for me, the best of the lot. Christy touched me like no-one else. She knew my body intimately and always made me rock with at least one orgasm. I looked forward to these sessions with a growing feeling of need and desire. She taught me how to do to her the same things as she did so well to me. Of all of these relationships, that with Christy was the one that had become central to me. Not just physically, but emotionally too. If I had to give up all the others and just have one lover, it would have to be Christy.
 
     And still I waited for the meeting with Jimmy. Promises were made but at the last minute seemed to disappear like a puff of smoke – which Grahan would attempt to recify by an unexpected and unplanned fuck. He seemed to think that was all I needed to wipe away my disappointment. And as he usually gave me a little present as a kind of apology for Jimmy failing to appear, I knew that he was being sincere. Jimmy was a very busy man, with his own TV show, regular appearances on 'Ready Steady Go' and charity engagements all over the country. So it was easy to accept that a visit to Graham had been cancelled, or had been unexpected and brief and ther had just been no opportunity to contact me. You who now live with an I-phone alwys within reach might not
appreciate how difficult instant contact could be achieved twenty or twentyfive years ago. There were mobiles on the market but they were expensive and none of my friends had one, though their parents were beginning to use them. It was high time Graham or George got one for me.
     And that was exactly what I got from George: a little Phillips pay-as-you-go mobile, on the anniversary of the day he had first spoken to me in the Shop. I couldn't have told you the date, so I was surprised and flattered and demonstrated my gratitude in the only way I knew how, by going down on him and giving him my best possible sucking. And he seemed well-pleased, as so he should, cos if I say so myself, I was becoming pretty experienced at putting a smile on Men's faces.
     That sounds a bit like I mean a whole lot of Men, but it was really only George and Graham so far – I had no memory of how the other guys at Shangri La had enjoyed me at the Party, so I wouldn't know what they liked. But I did know George and Graham pretty well by now – and Little Pavel, though he was hardly a Man!