There's No Knowing What a Man Wants except to Fuck You
Martin read the letter I had received and looked up at me.
     “My goodness, Teri, Jimmy Savile really does want to meet you! This weekend! You should feel honoured.”
    “I do, and I suppose a bit scared!”
     “Why? What is there to be scared about?” asked Martin, handing me a glass of vodka and orange.
     “Well, it's just, that's he's so famous and important and knows all sorts of people, film stars and prime Ministers and all the pop Stars and just, everyone – and who am I? I'm just a wee lassie! Why would anyone really want to meet me? I can't believe it's really happening!” and I jumped about until Martin got hold of me and sat me down on the bed.
     “Listen Teri, my Father, and Ronnie and George Gill and Graham Montgomery all know Jimmy and they've all been in contact with him, telling him about you and what a great girl you are and about your cousin Jo and wanting to go on Jim'll Fix It! So it's only natural that he wants to meet you and spend some time with you and get to know you himself. To be honest, I should be feeling jealous, but I'm happy for you!”
      “Why would you feel jealous?”
      “Well, obviously he'll want some time alone with you.”
      “And?”
      “He'll want to fuck you!”
      “Jimmy Savile?”
      “Of course.”
      “But why would he want to fuck me? I mean he's got women hanging out of windows calling to him, he's got all those girls on Top Of The Pops, hanging on him while he's doing the Show, everywhere he goes women are throwing themselves at him, why would he be bothered about me?”
      Well, obviously because the others have told him how good you are, and because he specially likes girls about your age, and because he just likes fucking them. I mean who wouldn't? That's what holds us all together – we haven't got a lot of other things in common.”
      “You mean fucking young girls is all you do?”
      “No, of course not, but it's the thing that connects us all, and for some of us, well not so much me or George, but the others, it's the most important part of their lives, even if they have jobs, important jobs, the thing that's at the front of their mind all the time is finding and fucking more girls. And someone as good as you is special!”
      “But how do you mean 'as good as me'? Good at what?”
      “Sex! You enjoy it and you do it so well. And you let us do whatever we went to you.”
      And I sat down away from him – there were a lot of things whizzing about in my head, things I couldn't pin down, questions I wanted to ask, but just couldn't quite get a hold of.
     “Don't you love me? You said you did?”
     “I do love you, Teri, I want to spend all my time with you, showing you things, teaching you things, listening to you talk about things that interest you, and we have fun, don't we?”
     “Oh, yes, Martin, I love the way you explain things to me and tell me about history and art and films and people you've met and all sorts of stuff.”
     “And we have good sex too?”
     “Oh, yes, Martin. When you're fucking me I feel like I’m really important to you and that I belong with you, belong to you, and that having you inside me is really what I'm here for. Do you know what I men?”
     “Yes, I do Teri. But I'm not the only man who wants to be in you. And Jimmy is probably the most important person you ere ever likely to have inside you – and you are right, lots of women and girls would love the chance for that. And because I love you, I do feel a wee bit jealous. Even though I can fuck you tonight and all day tomorrow and the next day and the one after that, before Jimmy gets here, and then, after he's gone, we can do it again and again, I'll never tire of you, Teri.”
     “But when Jimmy's here, you want me to be with him?”
     “Well, that's the idea, Teri. A lot of your friends have been working very hard to bring Jimmy here, so that you can tell him about Jo and go on Jim'll Fix It and get Jo that holiday in Disneyland, I mean, that's what you want and we all want it for you, and of course Jimmy will want to fuck you, why on earth wouldn't he?”
     “I don't know. I suppose I just feel a bit bewildered by it all, by the thought of someone famous even wanting to talk to me, never mind ask me to suck him or want to fuck me. I mean it,' not the kind of thing you expect, is it?”
     “I guess not,” said Martin, giving me a cuddle and pulling me closer to him and laying me down with my head in his lap, which usually meant he wanted me to suck him, but this time he just wanted to stroke my hair and talk to me.